For Miranda

I cry for you ... with tears unwashed
I feel for you ... with airless lungs
I hurt for you ...

Forget the saline skin that devoured your sexuallity
Forget the thrust of emotions that fills your totality

Incurable as it may seem
These unclean sheets will be washed
If not thrown away

Check your foggy mirrors
And glue in the shattered glass
Piece by piece it will become one

Forget satan's saccharinic smile
That lures you to the abyss
Of never ending self destruct

I cry for you... not because of your phallic appetence
I cry for you... not because of your massochistic ways
I cry for you... because through your eyes I see the emptiness

* a piece created and given to me by one of my closest friends - BeLLe

- i miss this girl..*

this pain..(revisited)

its killing me.
its been 13 months now and the hurt is still as fresh as it feels like
the time it transpired.been fighting the monster since time
immemorial,believe me.ive soaked my face down the freezing water since
i dont know when..
maric is here.
some would notice and appreciate her existence.one person dont.i feel
sorry for him.never did i realize i would feel so much anger for the
person who gave maric to me.
im tired.
this pain..

life and itself..

"I don't ever want to fall into some pathetic cycle of
work-function-work-sleep. I can only count on one journey on this
world, and I intend to spend it living. My existence shall not amount
to some glorified metabolic functions. Mark my words, I will drink my
cup."If its means to defy the mundane exercise then count me in.I'll not sit
on my ass and watch my life just fade away.I know I'm gonna encounter
all sorts of difficulties however with the tools I got in handling my life I know success is limpid.,so i rest my case to all conformities and battle myself towards
imbibing the cup of life.In that way I could come and would have the
courage to kneel before the "Man" and re-present myself.

The Infamous Me

Little did I know that infamy runs through me.I find it rather hard discerning what people thinks about me.But the question is,"Should I really bother on what they say?".There are probably two things that presses them to think differently towards me.First, could be the clarity of my emotions and second would be the way I execute them.More often than not would my face voluntarily shifts to the emotion that I currently feel.I'm such an expressive person,so to speak.I have this "what-you-see-is-what-you-get attitude".Perhaps it's because I'm impatient in explaining myself.I remember during the time I was pregnant,people were so eager knowingt who the father of my kid is.I was initially polite in answering most of their queries until I grew tired of repeating myself.I became a robot then.I abhored it.It even came to a point that I deliberately avoided people whom I know will ask me the same question.I've just grown tired of it.I know I have the freewill, and I will maximize that gift.

My girl just turned 1 year and 5 months yesterday.I named her MARIC MARGUERITTE.She's an aquarian,born on january 24,2005.I had this blog account named after her.Going back the time I gave birth,I was really skeptic that I'll be tagged as a single mom.I had her when I was 23.I just hate the fact people would categorized me as such.Perhaps I still can't accept what has transpired from the time I learned that I was pregnant.Heretofore,I can still feel how it was like to be caught between in denial of being pregnant and technically being one.I abhored the "feeling".That was the time when all the lore I've gained seemed too off.That I just can't find a way to properly deal with it.Maybe there are things that I'm just really afraid of deciphering the answer.It would still surprise me everytime I go home to see my little girl.Whew!Oh my,she's a little Mel and a little Marc altogether now.Nonetheless,Maric is here & wouldn't have wanted anything else.